SAABIREEN

"SAABIREEN. MY YOUNG AND INNOCENT GIRL. HOW ARE YOU. MY DEAR? I IMAGINE YOU'RE READING THIS LETTER WITH TEARFUL EYES AND A BROKEN HEART. I KNOW YOU ARE SAD AND SHATTERED. FIRST. THESE WORDS ARE NOT TO JUSTIFY MYSELF. BUT TO EXPLAIN-TO HELP YOU UNDERSTAND. NONE OF THIS IS YOUR FAULT. YOU. MY DEAR. ARE A REMARKABLE WOMAN. A LOVING AND VIRTUOUS WIFE. I FEARED BECOMING ATTACHED TO YOU. SO I SOUGHT REFUGE IN THE SOLITUDE OF MY ROOM. KEEPING MY DISTANCE FROM YOUR RADIANT SMILE AND WARM GAZE. YOUR PURITY. MY LADY, REVEALED TO ME THE FILTH OF MY SOUL, AND YOUR PATIENCE MADE IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR ME TO CONTINUE WRONGING YOU. WHAT DESTROYED ME THE MOST WAS YOUR ATTEMPT TO HAVE A CHILD WITH ME. HOW COULD THAT BE. WHEN CHILDREN. THOSE PURE. ANGELIC BEINGS-CANNOT BE BORN OF SOMEONE AS TAINTED AS I AM!!! YOU WOULD ADORN YOURSELF IN COUNTLESS WAYS FOR ME. AND I WOULD REALIZE I WAS A BLIND MAN. YOU WOULD SPEAK TO ME WITH LOVE. AND I WOULD KNOW I WAS DEAF. YOU STRIPPED ME BARE BEFORE ME. AND NOW. THROUGH THESE WORDS. I LAY MYSELF BARE BEFORE YOU. I TELL YOU WHAT I NEVER DARED TO ADMIT. EVEN TO MYSELF. PERHAPS MY PEN IS BRAVER THAN I AM. MY LETTER TO YOU IS A REMEDY FOR MY LOST SOUL, DROWNING IN A DARK WELL WITHOUT END."